Monday, October 9, 2017

Met Saba (Esber): Lord, Do not Rebuke Us Harshly

Arabic original here.

Lord, Do not Rebuke Us Harshly


Perhaps the most difficult thing in Your Gospel is that you leave the wheat among the tares until the final judgment. You have made us understand that Your Church on earth is not a collection of saints so much as a group of strugglers who seek holiness.

They may not attain it. They may only see it from afar. Many times, they may not ever see it.

You wanted Your Church to be a group of seekers of truth. You are the Truth and in you it is seen. We are amazed that it is persecuted and contested until the end of the age.

Our struggles and our sins which we attach to You cause us to imagine that we are defending You and Your body on earth.

The reality, however, says: we are for this one or that one of Your servants more than we are for You.

You have also taught us that holiness is only given when it is truly sought on the narrow way.

Thus we have learned that we must be hard on ourselves and not on others and that we must require truth and uprightness of ourselves before anything else.

Then You offered Your life so that truth, purity and sacrifice might have the highest place in Your creation. Your sacrifice was a real translation of Your words.

And because You effaced Your person with Your word, Your whole life was a condescension.

You only went up twice.

The first time was so that the enormous crowd could hear Your teaching, when You went up the mountain to give them the new Law.

The second time was upon the cross. On the hill of Golgotha, You let them raise You as a martyr, to embrace the world with Your hands stretched out to it.

Your being lifted up like this was the apex of condescension, because it led you to the tomb, in a cave of earth.

By this ultimate condescension of Yours, You rose again and caused life to dawn, that light of which You said in Your Gospel, that you came in order to give to us, that we may have its fullness.

But we often act in the opposite way to You.

We love to show off and puff ourselves up, for people to see us as leaders more than as servants and fathers!

We want followers, even if we lead them to perdition!

Because we are small, we make ourselves big not through You but through them in order to feel that we are doing something, that we are influential, that we have status.

If Your children, in their love for us, only know us from the outside, what excuse is this for us when we know ourselves and we know how much stupidity, meanness and filth there is within us?

Did You not teach us, Master, how we should go down in order for You to raise us up?

Do You not direct us towards knowledge of the high station that is fitting for Your people and Your servants?

Is it not enough for us to be at Your feet?

Is not all fullness in our listening to You as Mary did, and she attained the good portion that is not taken from her?

Amidst our intoxication with ourselves and our ego, we often forget You, O Master, and we replace You with our followers.

We are occupied with the demon that dwells in us and we follow his whispers, so we no longer see You or hear You. In this way he leads us to false glory, to our doing what we believe to be the truth, when it is really only our own transgressions.

We no longer distinguish, O Master, between our whims and our zeal for Your house.

My Lord, do not let the turmoil drive us to acting against Your Gospel.

Have pity on us and our hardness of heart. Pour out Your abundant mercy upon us.

You have given us a terrible responsibility because You were pleased for Your Holy Spirit to be in vessels of clay, we who are quick to shatter.

How do we keep our vessels uncracked, when it is very easy to slip and imagine that we are Your followers who have been charged with reforming Your Church, when the world is very seductive?

My Lord, how many times have we been tempted to act against Your Gospel in order to best serve Your Church?

And how many times have we violated Your Gospel when we sanctified a means to an end?

And how many times have we betrayed You when we used You as an instrument for our own interests and desires?

Teach us, my Lord, that we are not better than You because no servant is better than his master.

Help us to accept Your example, the example of the servant who is oppressed and does not oppress.

Strengthen our steps so that You may be our first love.

Make us listen to You move than we talk about You, so that we may distinguish well between Your will and our passions.

Master, over history you have often taught us that You permit outward and inward persecution when we evade the truth and stray from the straight path.

Do not rebuke us harshly, my Lord, because we almost cannot bear it.

Preserve for us a remnant that bears witness to You, to the fullness of the life that You desire, and to the joy that Your angels have proclaimed since You honored our earth with Your visitation.

My Christ, the people of Your Church have grown weary on account of us. Forgive us and lead us to the straight path.

We desire You, my Lord. Do not let us distract ourselves from You with the things that pertain to You.

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